Why The British Left Sucks In 2006: episode III - Revenge of the Stalin Society

What is your name!? The Communist Party of Great Britain (Marxist Leninist).

What is your quest!? Where does one start? I already accused the 'official' Communist party of being stuck in 1964, but these guys haven't made it past the Moscow Trials. Generally, they want to institute a stalinist state in Britain - a goal I think we all pursue in life with equal vigour.
What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow!? Whatever Joe Stalin says it is!

Dude, he's dead... IMPERIALIST LIES!!!

How many of you are there!? Not more than a hundred. The party is young, in the sense that it's actually only been around for a year or two, but old, in the sense that it's a bunch of extremely old people. People like Harpal Brar. (update Feb 07: actually, there appears to be a secondary constituency of British-Asian teenage girls. Double-u, tee, eff?)

You might remember me from... You almost definitely don't. Their views tread that line between hilarious and terrifying which guarantees almost no exposure from anyone, ever. Their leader, the aformentioned Brar, edits a journal called Lalkar, which is so stalinist as to be illegal in parts of India.

Pros: Comedy value, pretty much.

Cons: I'd write something here, but I'm sure Harpal Brar would attack me with an icepick. You know, I'm beginning to think that someone should adapt one of those "Chuck Norris facts" things for him. "Harpal Brar does not shave with knives - he sharpens knives on his beard."

Overall: MARXISM-LENINISM IS THE SHINING PATH TO VICTORY! A CHICKEN IN EVERY POT AND A BULLET IN EVERY TROT! DEATH TO REVISIONISTS AND CAPITALIST ROADERS!