Sunday 22 January 2006

Why The British Left Sucks In 2006: episode II - Attack of the Bores

What is your name!? The Communist Party of Britain.

What is your quest!? Officially, to continue the legacy of the old CPGB (as opposed to the 'new' CPGB, whom we shall discuss in due course), adhering to its classic program "The British Road To Socialism", which was
ultimately revealed to be the work of Uncle Joe. Unofficially, to be the most boooooooring party ever. The only way a party could be more boring than the CPB is if it were composed entirely of clones of Neil Kinnock, and every party political broadcast was dubbed with the voice of Henry Kissinger.

How many of you are there!? About a thousand. Mostly aging tankies, although there are a surprising number of youngins too. Honestly, who are these people?

You might remember me from... You probably don't. Their split from the CPGB in '88 was more or less the final nail in that party's coffin. The Stop The War coalition - nowadays dominated by swivel-eyed trots (see episode 1) and muslim groups with thousand-yard stares - was formed by leading Communist Andrew Murray, who still officially leads it. Maintains the sort of *wink*nudge* relationship with the daily Morning Star that the IRA has with Sinn Fein, only neither side looks interesting enough to have hidden arms deposits.

Pros: Errr...Harpal Brar's not involved? They're studiously sane, which is always a plus (and quite common among the former Cominform parties, humility and soul-searching being a natural consequence of the sort of personal and political catastrophe these people endured in '89-'92.)

Cons: They are pretty much still reformed and semi-reformed Stalinists, of the Khrushchev/Brezhnevite schools. Also, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Overall: To be honest, I'm surprised that they have any support at all. They're ideologically ossified in the post-Hungary pre-Prague era. They're undead. Except the undead normally do cool shit like drink blood and eat brains.

1 comment:

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